Stop holding your breath because the rumors are true. Rihanna and Katy Perry are teaming up for a duet at some point in the vague future. Not since Brandy and Monica worked together on “The Boy is Mine” have I been this excited for a collaboration. Seriously, it’s like Buzz and Woody just announced they’re adopting a baby together. It’s that exciting.
Rihanna tells Access Hollywood:
“We have been working on this for years. We still are trying to make a song together, Katy Perry and I…She is one of my favorite musicians, as well as one of my favorite people in the industry.”
This years-long project is sure to be epic. Not so much for the lyrics or their vocal skills, but because between the two of them the trainwreck-ability factor will be very high.
Higher than the number of people Russell Brand cheated with while married to Katy Perry? That’s for a tell-all biography to tell us in a few decades.
For now, let’s just focus on what will happen in this duet:
1. There will be talk of boobs. They both have them, they both love them and I think we’ve all seen all four by now.
2. Chris Brown and Russell Brown will both guest rap on it. Because the 6th stage of grief is giving your ex a little publicity boost.
3. Rihanna and Katy will sing back and forth on whether boobs capable of shooting whipped cream qualifies someone for thug life.
4. They’ll kiss each other and they’ll like it.
5. In the beginning of the song Rihanna will let Katy Perry be the captain, but by the end she’ll just be a rider.
6. Katy Perry will make coy innuendo toward sexual activity while Rihanna spells it alllll out for us in the chorus.
(Photo: Vibe Vixen)