Guys, look at this photo of Jessica Simpson. It looks like she’s carrying octuplets in her boobs alone. God knows what kind of elephant child is currently residing in that mega-mansion of a uterus.
I’m not sure if J. Simps and Hilary Duff are in a competition for who can be pregnant longer or if she’s going to try to hold out so she and Vanessa Minnillo can give birth on the same day or what. Either way, it feels like she’s been with child for approximately 11-19 months. This can’t be healthy for anyone at all, least of all her 67 pound baby.
I think it might be time to force her into labor or to pop her or to make her give a big, emotional speech to an ex (that always makes water break in the movies). Whatever we do, we gotta do it soon. Otherwise she’s going to become known as that celebrity who was pregnant forever and not the celebrity who made the most epic mom jeans mistake to ever be made.
#PopJSimps2012. Is anyone with me?