• Fri, Mar 9 2012

The Judged Becomes The Judgee: Britney Spears Is Your New The X Factor Judge

After years of being harshly judged by the public for every little window she smashed with an umbrella and every hair she shaved off her head, Britney Spears gets to finally be the judge. Not legally or anything. It’s not like she successfuly seeked Amy and is now our new Judge Judy.

No, the pop star who once upon a time penned a a love sonnet to her diary could very well be the newest celebrity judge on The X Factor, otherwise known as that show that used to be called American Idol. According to a very credible source, (who is most likely that horrible gossip that is Jamie Lynn’s daughter), Britney Spears’s fiance Jason Trawick is negotiating the contracts as we speak.

As you read this Jason Trawick’s sitting in his study with the gaslights burning, just poring over that contract and trying to make sure that The X Factor has no less than 3 Britney Spears tribute episodes and one tell-all confessional special where all the celebs have to to admit to their own personal “oops I did it again” moment. Oh and also 10 million dollars. Which is like chump change compared to Beyonce’s rumored $500 million dollar offer earlier this winter.

Apparently they’re recruiting Brit because last year’s season didn’t have the excitement, the zest or the ’90s nostalgia appeal that producer Simon Cowell’s looking for in the show. The Hollywood Reporter says:

Spears brings legitimacy as a successful recording artist, something critics of X Factor say was missing in last year’s competition, as well as a level of unpredictability and drama that also was largely absent from the Fox show when Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul were judges.

Shocking to hear that Paula Abdul didn’t bring legitimacy to the judging table. It’s almost like Simon Cowell completely blacked out the last 20 years of his life as well as the short-lived and tragic Bravo series Hey Paula. But I’m glad he’s back on track now with his recent judge selection. Nothing says unpredictable success like Britney Spears.

But, even if Britney says yes and agrees to be paid in colonial wages (ten million is such a joke), there’s still no one named yet for the fourth judging chair. So if you’re reading this and you’re a celebrity, you should totally apply! Just go to Monster.com/theXFactorJudge and send your resume, cover letter and any applicable sex tapes. Good luck!

Craving a little Britney Jam session now? Just click to the next page to relive all your classics!

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