• Wed, Mar 7 2012

Sample Chapters We Want To See In Pattie Mallette’s Memoir About Raising Justin Bieber

Pattie Mallette memoir Nowhere But Up Justin Bieber's momA few days ago, Pattie Mallette changed her Twitter handle from @studiomama to @pattiemallette. Though she said that the change was to discourage impostors, we think she wanted to solidify her brand before the big announcement that she’s writing a memoir.

According to BillboardNowhere But Up: The Story of Justin Bieber‘s Mom will give us insight into Pattie’s troubled youth, as she suffered abuse and addiction, and even considered taking her own life at 17.

Wow. That’s incredibly intense and — you have to admit — drastically different from Justin’s charmed adolescence. Since Pattie is a fascinating figure, we’ve come up with some other ideas for what we’d like to read, hopefully not as heavy.

  • Prologue: The Virgin Mary And Teen Mom Have Nothing On Me
  • Chapter 3: How to Explain to Your Son What a Lesbian Is and How He’s Not One
  • Chapter 10: Keeping My Cool When Girls Tweet About Wanting to Have Sex with My Little Boy
  • Chapter 12: I Don’t Know What That Heart Symbol of His Means, and I’m Only 35
  • Chapter 17: How Life Would Be Different If I Had Uploaded Justin’s Home Videos to MySpace
  • Epilogue: It’s OK That I Had to Put My Son’s Name on My Book Cover. No, Really.

Nowhere But Up comes out September 18th, but you can pre-order it on Amazon now.

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