Emma Watson’s like totally obsessed with being cast in movies. Based on the fact that she just signed onto to star in Sofia Coppola’s upcoming film, The Bling Ring, I would go as far as to say she’s addicted. I don’t want to jump the gun and say she needs to go to to rehab, but I will go out on a limb and say I wouldn’t be shocked if she ended up there one for her addiction to accepting new roles.
Her newest film, which sounds JUST LIKE THE LIFETIME MOVIE WITH THE SAME NAME, is “based on true events that took place in Beverly Hills, the movie will tell the story of a group of fashion and fame-obsessed teens who broke into the homes of celebrities.” The question is who will she play? A member of the actual Bling Ring or one of the wronged celebrities who were victimized by the dangerous Bling Ring. If I take out of one of my contacts and wear a mesh eye patch over the other eye, she kind of looks like Paris Hilton. So yes, that could work.
It seems like every time I turn on my computer or read the paper (that’s a joke, I don’t even know where to buy a paper these days), she’s signing on to more and more big name movies. Last month was Guillermo’s De Toro’s Beauty and the Beast and before that it was David Yates’ Your Voice in my Head. The former Harry Potter star looks primed and ready to launch a huge Hollywood career.
And the further and she further she gets from Hogwarts, the less and less I can make all my Herminone jokes. Pretty soon, the film franchise that started her career will be a footnote on her Wikipedia page, a one minute segment in her E! True Hollywood Story.
She’ll run into Daniel Radcliffe at dinner party in a producer’s Beverly Hills home and she’ll squint and say, “Do I know you from somewhere?” And he’ll look at her and say, “Emma, it’s me! Daniel. Harry Potter? Chambers of secrets? Alan Rickman’s dressing room?” She’ll smile and nod and have no idea what he’s talking about because she’s too focused on the text message Sofia Coppola just sent her about a new project that aims to remake The Lion King with her playing both Nala and Simba.