• Wed, Feb 22 2012

Who Wants To Bet Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Never Get Married?

For as long as Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have been dating, I’ve been skeptical.  C’mon, *NSYNC’s noodle-headed breakout star and Mary Camden. There’s only room for one bizarro couple in my headlines and that spot’s reserved forever and ever (or until Netflix burns all their copies of Glitter) for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.

I’m not sure what the PR motive would be for their relationship, but I just really can’t believe that they’re compatible. And it’s not because i’m in love with JT or anything that romantic. Nope, I went for JC Chaseaz. (Why choose the hot guy, when you can have his less hot BFF?) They just never exude chemistry or love or “I just got a BJ on the way to this awards show” thing that so many other couples do.

So I was a little surprised when they got engaged this winter. That’s taking this fake-lationship to a whole new level. I did have to wonder if they were actually a couple. I mean, its one thing to fake-date. It’s another thing to fake-marry. But the latest development in their wedding planning has me more convinced than ever that it’s all some kind of set-up and the wedding is never happening.

Want to see the opposite of love?  An insider tells Radar Online:

“She wants a fidelity clause in the prenup giving her at least $500,000 if he does.” But Justin, 31, is offering a cash settlement with no fidelity clause or alimony, adds the source. “But Jess won’t budge.” The A-Team babe, 29, also insists that they hold off on starting a family. “If he’s faithful for several years, maybe she’ll agree to have a baby,” says the insider. “She doesn’t trust him 100 percent yet. Jessica figures if she gets fat during pregnancy, he’ll cheat again.”

While I’m sure prenups like this are the norm in Hollywood-Romance-Land, they still come off as so harsh. I’m not a relationship counselor (but I have spent a lot of time analyzing online dating profiles, for whatever that’s worth), but I think if you suspect he may cheat on you because you get “fat” during pregnancy, then he probably isn’t the right guy for you.

Side note: pregnancy is not equivalent to fat. Yes you gain weight, but you’re gaining weight to support a living being inside of you. It’s not the same as eating lard sandwiches on croissant bread everyday.

So call me a cynic, but I just don’t see these two walking down the aisle anytime soon. Or ever.

What do you think?

 

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  • Peoplepleaser

    This story is from Star magazine and is over a wk old. Star/National Enq/Radar are all owned buy the same company. Your a fucking idiot Jenni if you actually believe what all 3 write. Radar/Star also claimed Jason beats Britney. And just because Jessica isn’t in the A list category they make an “odd couple” Get over yourself and get a real job

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  • Amenti Nicole

    I’m glad somebody said it. Thank you so much for keepin’ it real all day every day!- Amenti Nicole