When compared to the craziness of all the other Real Housewives of New York as well as reality stars in general, I always thought Bethenny Frankel stood out for her intelligence, shrewdness and sense of humor. However, after watching the premiere of the third season of Bethenny Ever After last night I started to get a little turned off.
For all her success these past two years, she walked through last night’s episode like there was a rain cloud following her, and only her, around the city. The only time she wasn’t playing the “woe is me” card, was when she was analyzing the state of her husband Jason’s penis (welcome to cobweb city) or her friend Lisa Lampanelli’s husband’s large ball sack.
(On a side note, I wish I was Lisa Lampanelli’s husband, Jimmy Cannizzaro, today. You know everyone at his office is eyeing his crotch, trying to measure his balls with their eyes while making polite long weekend conversation.)
The show kicked off with her discussing how her company Skinny Girl launched sangria in addition to margaritas this year and she’s finally made it as a successful business woman. But rather than lingering on her success, she instead launched into some kind of tirade about how she’s horrible at being famous and needs to go to some kind of celebrity school where they teach you how to get out of the car without showing everyone your crotch.
I don’t want to even get into the fact that if you’re paying someone to teach you how to get out of the car without flashing everyone, then you’re either an idiot at budgeting or making a commercial called “what it’s like to be in the 1%.” I’d rather discuss the fact that she’s now complaining that she’s famous and can’t handle it. As if she thought the Bravo cameras that have been following her around these past few years were an NYU film class just working on their lighting and boom mike skills. Like, wahh wahhh, you’re famous. It’s not like this could have come as a surprise. Bravo’s been playing the “Jason has cobwebs on his penis” teaser for weeks now.
Next up on her “what shall I complain about today” agenda was her apartment. It’s way too small and her many assistants/employees are forced to crawl under desks to get to where they need to go. She needs to move, like right away and the whole process is taking forever. Then when Jason finally closes on a brand new apartment/mansion in the sky and shows it to her, she walks around complaining about how much work it’s doing to be to renovate.
I think renovation complaints are right next to private school charity fundraisers falling on the same day as the annual Aspen ski trip complaints. Valid. Totally valid and understandable. Everyone in America can nod their heads and be like, “totally with you Bethenny, renovating a gazillion dollar apartment in New York City is the worst! It’s like ugh, it’s hard to enough to find a good driver in this city, let alone a contractor!”
Slash I have to think everyone lost a little bit of compassion for Bethenny after her running stream of complaints. It’s hard to feel bad for someone who seems to have it so good. Here’s to hoping this show doesn’t turn into a weekly rendition of “First World Problems.”