Diehard Ice Loves Coco fans can finally stop holding their breath because the second season of the E! reality show premiered last night and gave us a few gratuitous shots of the underrated (and possibly underfed) Richard Belzer as well as an introduction to this season’s unsolved mystery.
Our beloved Coco’s not feeling well and as she lists off her symptoms, I start to suspect that she’s reading the opening dialogue to a bad Kate Hudson rom-com. She tells Kelli Giddish of Law & Order: SVU that she feels queasy, light-headed and basically everything that a naive character says before she realizes she’s pregnant.
Kelli Giddish, who’s surely seen all these movies, recognizes these symptoms and tells Coco she might be preggers. So Coco takes a home pregnancy test while simultaneously giving Ice a heart attack for taking said test. While she kinda hopes it’s positive, Ice kinda hopes that her birth control is doing its job and keeping her womb baby-free.
Luckily for Ice, she’s not pregnant. Instead Dr. Kosta diagnoses Coco with high blood pressure and recommends an MRI to figure out what exactly is causing it. This whole episode quickly transformed from a lighthearted TBS weekend chick flick to a Lifetime movie. While Ice prepares to be a guest on Jimmy Fallon, Coco decides to take matters in her own hands and google her symptoms. Damn that MRI and anything Dr.Kosta recommends.
Like every woman who has ever made the mistake of self-diagnosing herself on the Internet, Coco freaks out that she has cancer or fibromyalgia or a number of other hard-to-pronounce diseases. Before she starts self-medicating herself for her 16 new Internet diseases though, she decides to head into her real-doctor-recommended MRI and see what actual medical professionals have to say. Although she has a minor panic attack pre-MRI, her sister Kristy Williams and second husband/publicist Souljee give her the bravery she needs to lay down on the machine and get it done.
Unfortunately the MRI shows nothing. So while it appears Coco isn’t going to keel over today and die from a number of high blood pressure related conditions, they’re not sure why she has such high blood pressure. All they do know is that Coco and Ice can’t start having babies until Coco can get it under control.
The episode ends on an ominomatic note (ominous and romantic) as Ice raises Coco’s blood pressure even higher by kissing her.
(Photo: TV Rage)