For Being So Stupid, Denise Richards Is Shockingly Savvy

Throughout her career in Hollywood, Denise Richards has always struck me as being incredibly stupid. There’s something about her cadence, her interviews, the way she strings words together that makes me think she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the brightest crayon in the box and 9 other “she’s stupid” metaphors.

However, with that said, Denise Richards continues to surprise me with her savviness when it comes to her determination to stay in the spotlight — despite not possessing any exceptional talent. She seems to have embraced her ”  pretty idiot persona” and used it to her advantage over the past few years. So, in honor of her 41st birthday today, I’d like to dive into the complexity that is Denise Richards.

After spending close to ten years acting in small movies and TV shows, Denise Richards attempted to use the 1999 James Bond film, The World is Not Enough, to launch a successful acting career. However her role as  nuclear physicist Christmas Jones rang false with the audience and earned her a Razzie as well as a spot on Entertainment Weekly’s ”10 Worst Bond Girls” list. Their review goes:

Let’s review: Denise Richards played Dr. Christmas Jones, a nuclear physicist who wore a tank top and hot pants. Bloody hell, even Q didn’t have a gadget to help Bond escape from that disaster.

So after attempting to start a legitimate film career by playing a smart person, Denise Richards was shot down. The audience just couldn’t buy it. (Blame it on the hot pants.) But Denise didn’t give up. Instead she grew up and realized that no one would ever her take seriously. She wasn’t this generation’s Meryl Streep, not even this generation’s Meg Ryan. But she could be this generation’s go-to sexy, dumb “actress.”

That’s when Denise Richards got savvy. Gone were the Hollywood ambitions and dreams of making “it” as a respected actress. Instead she embraced her new role and went full speed ahead. Instead of producing A-list blockbusters, she would be producing A-list dreams for horny young men all over the country. There’s nothing like getting into someone’s virtual spank bank to keep you in the news.

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    • SCB

      You’ve forgotten that she’s been on the wonderfully ridiculous Blue Mountain State for the past several years. It might be her best role ever (with the exception of the 30 rock cameo).

      • Mollac

        Wow follow her career much?

    • Frances

      Denise Richards is like Jessica Simpson – stupid like a fox.