Everyone’s favorite sarcastic cartoon character has come back from the dead for just long enough to pen a HuffPo editorial about Valentine’s Day, and it’s not nearly as negative as one might expect. In fact, she actually kind of likes it! What do you know?
But don’t worry, it’s not because Daria‘s finally gone soft on us. As the article makes clear, she still hates pretty much everyone:
Anyway, my point is that I don’t have anything against Valentine’s Day. In fact, I think it’s kind of cute. If couples want to surprise each other with flowers and chocolates and dinners and jewelry and pharmaceutical-grade ecstasy, accompanied by heart-shaped cards reading “I love you more than life itself and [your transgression here] will never happen again,” more power to them. Some say the day just forces us into a spiral of anxiety; unable to articulate our feelings, we try to compensate with cards and gifts and uncomfortable new positions that, honestly, don’t show either one of you in your best light. I say it can’t hurt for Americans to be reminded once a year of their basic lack of eloquence. Then maybe they’ll shut up when they’re sitting behind me at the movies.
Besides, Valentine’s Day always precedes one of my absolute favorite holidays, February 15th, “National Half-Off Every Piece of Red-Foil-Wrapped Sugary Crap in CVS Day,” the day I really get out there and do my bit for America’s economy. (And before you fire off your angry tweetmails, I’m well aware that February 15th is also Susan B. Anthony Day, when schoolkids learn about women’s suffrage, except in Texas where they learn about America’s proud heritage of uncirculated dollar coins).
So basically, Daria enjoys V-Day because it reminds people how incompetent they are at life and gets her a discount on candy. Fair enough. And lest you think Daria is just jealous of all the happy couples out there, she threw in a tidbit about her own relationship:
And I myself am not utterly without romance. I am seeing someone right now — I’d rather not give any details, except to say proudly that he does not wear a house-arrest anklet — and he and I are planning a traditional holiday celebration. Tonight we’re going door to door in Santa hats, caroling “Good King Wenceslas” at the top of our lungs.
Have fun, Dar! See you when MTV inevitably resurrects you for some sort of special.