As a whole, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion show hasn’t been all that dramatic. No one’s jumped out of her chair to pull another girl’s weave, and I’m surprised that no one’s thought to use her stilettos as a weapon yet.
Tonight’s episode, being part 3 of 3, wrapped up all the loose ends: Andy Cohen interviewed Kim Richards privately; there was some more detailing of the abuse Taylor Armstrong received at the hands of her late husband Russell Armstrong; and the rest of the cast popped in to offer their two cents.
It was this hodgepodge approach that gave us our overall impression of the night: It was just really awkward. “Friend of the Housewives” (no really, that’s what Wikipedia calls her) Dana Wilkey popped in just to get made fun of; later, the surviving husbands got alternately ogled or teased. It was just a weird night, but let’s jump into the blow-by-blow account of what made us cringe.
Dana comes out with tacky footwear. She is just not helping her case, is she? Right before Andy launches into the mockery of Dana’s materialism, she points out that her platform shoes say “fuck you” and have a middle finger with a diamond. “That’s hot,” she laughs. Oh, sweetie, it’s not.
The Housewives call Dana weird. That takes a lot of nerve, on live TV, to just call someone “weird”; it’s a harder insult to take than “bitchy” or “spoiled.” Dana tried to turn it back around on Lisa Vanderpump by pointing out that Giggy dresses better than the rest of ‘em — and that’s weird — but Lisa countered with, “Well, he has alopecia.” Of course, how could we have forgotten!
Dana laughs it all off. Really, I can’t think of a better example of the old adage “laughing to keep from crying” than poor Dana sitting through the clip show of the other Housewives‘ reactions to her bragging. And if Kyle Richards and Camille Grammer‘s raised eyebrows weren’t enough, Dana really did make herself look bad. Sure, she seemed a bit materialistic when you spread these moments out over the entire season, but spliced together in one thirty-second video, she sounded so empty-headed and downright stupid to purchase a diamond-encrusted lollipop holder that retails for a million dollars.
Last week the theme of the clip was “who says that?”—you can sum up Dana’s shilling with “who does that?” And yet, she just giggled goodnaturedly throughout, as if it weren’t her that was being mocked.
Kyle imitates Dana. To be fair, Kyle has a dead-on impression of Dana gushing over her $25,000 sunglasses, down to the voice. So we couldn’t not see it, but I still felt bad about laughing.
Dana tells it like it is. I came to respect Dana by the end of her ten-minute segment or whatever little time they gave her, because she acknowledged something that the other Housewives have difficulty doing:
“I’m two different people… I’m proud of it, and I do scream money. Maybe it’s tacky, but…”
(Well, Camille would know a thing or two about putting out a new persona.) Dana explained that she went from living a lower-class life with her mother in Massachusetts to the high life with her father in New York City.
“I think it’s a compliment to someone, to want to be their friend and put yourself out there. I complimented Kyle and the others.”
Aww, see, she just wants friends. I know that’s foreign to the Housewives, but they should give her a chance.