In the most exciting trashy TV news ever, TLC has ordered the series Southie Pride for the fall. It’s going to be an inside look at the women, the households and the accents of South Boston. Before you start thinking it’s going to take the high road and shed some new light on this nationally mocked community, it’s being produced by Jersey Shore‘s production company 495 Productions. And it’s on TLC. So it’s actually setting itself up to be America’s new favorite trainwreck.
While information on the actual series is scarce, I’d love to make a few predictions on how Southie Pride AKA Real Housewives of South Boston is going to go down.
1. The women are going to say wicked a lot. They’re going to say it so much that at first people will try to make a drinking game out of it and then they will realize that they’re setting themselves up for alcohol poisoning. By the time the season ends, wicked will have gone from being an ironic part of our vocabulary (remember the time in your life before you used “smush” in an actual conversation?) to an everyday adjective.
2. At least one women will have multiples. And if I know TLC like I think I know TLC, one of the octuplets will be a little person who eats toilet paper.
3. They will discuss sports in the same reverent tone most people only use to speak about God. You’re going to tune in one day in the middle of an episode, hear them speak in hushed-yet-excited voices and assume they’re talking about seeing Jesus in the supermarket. No. I can tell you already what they’re talking about: their first Red Sox memories.
4. There will be a Snooki-type Character. Her name will most definitely involve an “r” in the middle of it which she won’t be able to annunciate. Hilarity will ensue.
5. One housewife will have vague connections to Ben Affleck or Matt Damon. When I say vague I mean like her mother saw Ben when he was filming in Boston one day. But regardless of how vague the connection is, the Hollywood housewife (as she’s already known in my head) will slip it into every conversation.
Too excited to sit still? Watch a little teaser below. Sure it’s a parody, but I’m pretty sure it will be spot on.
[Photo courtesy of Starcasm]