• Wed, Feb 1 2012

The World Is Officially Out Of Whack: Snooki Might Be Preggers And She’s Talking Politics

Between Harry Potter admitting he likes a furry cooter and now news that maybe Snooki is knocked-up and she’s getting all political to boot, it’s safe to assume it’s the end of the world. Things are just not as they should be and I firmly expect to grow a third arm by the day’s end.

Everyone’s favorite orange meatball, Snooki took to Twitter to officially announce her un-endorsement of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. This is definitely important for the legions of Jersey Shore fans who think that Snooki and her fellow “buffoons” speak the word of god.

Her tweet to be exact was: “I will not be voting for Chris Christie. Love always, the ‘buffoons’ from that degrading Jersey Shore show.” Gov. Christie must be really rethinking his bid to run for governor again; if he doesn’t have Snooki’s vote, he has nothing. When you can’t even get the vote of woman who probably has never even voted nor can name the vice-president, you know your campaign is fucked. Seriously, he might as well just throw in the towel and move to Ohio where he can find himself a respectable job at a fast food chain and his career isn’t hinged on voters.

In addition to her new interest in politics, Star magazine is claiming that Snooki got herself preggers by her boyfriend Jionni LaValle. It’s hard to say what’s more terrifying: Snooki procreating and likely having a fetal alcohol syndrome bambino or her having to give up the sauce for a whole nine months. How does one survive so long without falling down drunk several times a week? I’ll tell you: they don’t.

Although we can confirm that Snooki’s tweet was obviously legit, the rumor of her pregnancy is still up in the air. Let’s just hope for the sake of humanity it is just a rumor, and that Snooki’s brief interest in politics is now behind her, because we really need to get this world back on track.

You can reach this post's author, Amanda Chatel, on twitter.
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