In his new movie The Grey, Liam Neeson is the leader of a group of men stranded in Alaska after a plane crash. They have to keep their wits about them while suffering from cold, fear, and a pack of angry wolves stalking them. But the part from the preview that has everyone talking is when Liam breaks a bunch of airplane vodka bottles and makes his own glass knuckles to take on the wolves.
That’s right—Neeson is just that badass. Inspired by this particularly ingenuous move, we’ve created a Liam Neeson paper doll just for you. (Also check out our past projects: Kate Middleton, Robert Pattinson, and naked Scarlett Johansson.) But instead of new outfits, Liam comes with a bevy of regular, seemingly harmless household items. Except in this guy’s hands, they’re the perfect weapons.
In The Bourne Identity, Matt Damon relied on a rolled-up magazine as his only defense; Liam Neeson has a spork for a shiv, cheese grater as a torture device, and a homemade garrote via iPod headphones. (The Kindle is for catching up on his subscription to The Economist… and then cracking over a kidnapper’s head while shouting, “Where’s my daughter?”)