This weekend, a blessed event occurred: Lifetime premiered perhaps its campiest movie yet, Drew Peterson: Untouchable. This went above and beyond other “inspired by a true story” tales, because it was Rob Lowe suiting up in a fat suit and gray moustache — not to mention a spotty Midwestern accent — to play charismatic police sergeant Drew Peterson, accused of murdering his third and fourth wives. It’s astonishing that no one suspects him of murder for most of the movie, considering that he tries to lock his third wife Kathleen in a jail cell at the station and that when fourth wife Stacy (Kaley Cuoco) goes missing, he glibly ropes in another lithe young blonde.
Unlike our usual Highlight Reels, this one for the Untouchable Lifetime movie has the added bonus of the eight best quotes from the movie. Honestly, it was difficult to shave them down because the movie has so many ridiculous moments. Some are undoubtedly real, like Drew laughing in the news cameras when accused of murdering Stacy, while his habit of referring to himself as “Big Daddy” is hopefully fiction.