The American Idol Season 11 Premiere, Recapped In Haiku

Has a nice voice but
They may only have said yes
Due to sympathy.*

*Amy Brumfield lives in a tent in the woods.

Made up a weird dance
Called the "joy-hop." Randy said:
"The right kind of crazy."

Okay voice. The boys
Let her through because she's hot.
Sage J-Lo said "no."

Back again this year
Wasn't going to try out, but
His sister made him.

Did I just get cruised
By a 12-year-old? Why, no.
He is 17.

Cute 16-year-old.
Will it help that she knows how
To tap dance? Probs not.

The segment on her
Work with disabled adults
Made me want to cry.

Sang Stevie Wonder,
Got Steven to make his weird
Melted Botox face.

Can't sing at all, but
Entertained viewers when she
Felt up Steven's ass.

Throaty, flat and bad.
Randy stared and blinked for days,
Then cried out "awful!"

Looks like Ryan Seacrest,
But this doesn't help him sing.
Come back when Ryan's dead.

Butchered Jason Mraz,
Then freaked out at cameras when
Judges told him no.

West African guy,
Not as good at country as
He believes he is.

Tried to bring in folks
To vouch that he's really good,
But it didn't work.

Quit his job so he
Could compete on Idol; that's
Quite a risky bet.

Did a bang-up job
With Etta, but it was gross
When Steven hit on her.