There are many people in Hollywood with whom you don’t want to fuck. Harvey Weinstein is definitely one of them because with one word from him and “you’ll never work in this town again.” Another would be Angelina Jolie; we’ve all seen what happened to Jennifer Aniston for getting in that woman’s way, or rather what hasn’t happened to Aniston as she tries to keep her career afloat. And yet another one on that list of people you just don’t even want to try to piss off is Suri Cruise. You fuck with Suri, you fuck with you and you don’t want to fuck with you. However, Katherine Heigl and her husband Josh Kelley didn’t get that memo.
Unbeknown to Naleigh’s parents, Hollywood only has enough room for so many kids of celebrities. As Suri has made clear time and time again in her Burn Book, it is she who sits at the top of that fanciful tier. Yes, she begrudgingly occasionally has to share it with all those Jolie-Pitt rugrats, but besides them it’s Suri’s world and we’re all just spectators vying for such an existence.
However recent events have shaken things up in the land of celebrity kiddos. This past Tuesday Naleigh appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live with her mom Heigl, where she was introduced as being “hammy.” Despite this adjective, the three-year-old didn’t seem to live up to her mom’s claims and even snubbed Kimmel, refusing to say hello. Wow. Little Heigl has some ego on her (not surprisingly.)
Her mother went on to say some pretty distressing stuff that when it reaches Suri’s ears there will be hell to pay: ”She loves a crowd that loves her. She’ll be shy right now, but she loves applause.” Her?! The crowd loves her? Suri would not and does not approve.
To add insult to this already gaping and bloody injury, today it was announced that Kelley’s new music project (who does this guy think he is anyway?) is entitled “Naleigh Moon” and features personal footage of Naleigh’s three years of life.
Two important things to note: Suri has never been on a talk show and Suri does not have a song with her name in the title, let alone one that’s entirely about her and includes a video montage of her photos. Again, Suri would not and does not approve.
Although there is some relief this week for Suri since My1stYears.com just voted her “Hollywood’s Best Dressed Tot,” that still doesn’t change the fact that for a few brief moments all eyes were set on Naleigh. Nor does it change the fact that there’s a video entirely dedicated to Naleigh that will be played by god knows how many people and/or how many times.
What this all means is that somewhere Suri is under her bed in heels and a Prada dress ferociously scribbling away in her Burn Book condemning Heigl as we speak. She’s plotting her revenge as well as trying to figure out how she’ll wear her hair tomorrow. No Hollywood tot should appear on a talk show before Suri; no one. Not even a Jolie-Pitt.