All Aboard The Kate Gosselin Cruise!

When TLC cancelled Kate Plus 8 got, we contemplated what could be Kate Gosselin‘s next move to hold on to fame and exploit her little moneymaking brood. But we couldn’t have anticipated this: A week-long cruise around the Western Caribbean with the reality-TV mom! How could you say no?

The Kate Gosselin Cruise (via BuzzFeed) mostly boasts about all the amenities onboard — including margaritas, a performance of Chicago, and “Kate’s exclusive events” — there are also excursions to Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico. Who are we kidding, no one cares about snorkeling in the bright-blue ocean. Here’s all the ways you can rub elbows with Kate since you’ll be trapped on a ship with nowhere to go:

  • Morning brunch, welcome cocktail party, and private BBQ — it’ll probably cost you extra — with Kate
  • Attending her Q&A sessions and book signing
  • A charity dinner that’s optional, but if you decide to go will probably cost you extra
  • Crafting with Kate
  • “Fun family games” with Kate and staff
  • Take a personal photo with her
  • Receive a personalized gift (limit one per person)

Seriously, Kate is gonna make bank on this ride! It’ll be the easiest week of her life, and that includes the road trip arc of Kate Plus 8 where she made her poor babysitter take care of the kids in the other bus. Now, let’s talk prices: The cabins range from $1,500-$5,000 a person, and that’s not including the Kate Gosselin Pre-Cruise Hotel Package for your first night in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Definitely check out the website; it’s hilariously pink/magenta with a weird font, guaranteed amusement.

So, which celebrity will you be cruising with in 2012—Kate, or R. Kelly?

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