Gwyneth Paltrow knows you’re going to be partying on New Year’s Eve, so Gwyneth Paltrow has some hangover mitigation tips for you. Some of them are wildly expensive!
According to today’s GOOP newsletter, here are some of the ways you can prevent and/or cure your first massive hangover of 2012:
-Buy angel investor Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Mercy elixir” and mix a cocktail with it. Nothing prevents a hangover like drinking alcohol.
-Go to a your local full-service spa for some serious hydrotherapy. Gwyneth prefers the traditional Turkish Hamman, but even a “low-key Japanese spa” will do. Place your body in various hot saunas and cold baths. Purchase a full-body scrub. Purchase a massage. Then, skip dinner because you spent all your money.
-Eat one or two Umeboshi plums. (Note: they have the uber-pickled snack at my local natural food market, but a tiny package costs $20 so I have never purchased it.)
-Buy other products created by Gwyneth’s homeopathic expert friends.
-Drink Bloody Marys. Now we’re talking! She doesn’t call them Bloody Marys, but whatever. This is probably the worst advice of all, but the only one that’s not totally obnoxious and/or obvious, so props.
In conclusion: you are going to have a hangover no matter what bullshit hangover cure you ingest. Take comfort in the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow probably has one, too.