R. Kelly Has Written 32 New Chapters Of His Hip Hopera ‘Trapped In The Closet’

It’s a Christmas miracle! R. Kelly told TMZ yesterday that he’s written 32 new chapters of his legendary hip hopera “Trapped in the Closet,” which ended with a “to be continued” in 2007 after 22 chapters including a web of infidelity, a midget shitting his pants, and (spoiler) HIV possibly getting passed around among this cast of characters.

Adding the new chapters would rack us up to 54 mini-chapters; each is a music video about three minutes long. However, R. Kelly needs a financial backer to film the next chapters, and he needs it soon. “You guys need to find out what The Package is,” he told the gossip site; in the film, it’s assumed to be HIV/AIDS, but with this new quote it might be something else entirely.

According to my boyfriend, who regularly quotes this masterpiece, a good video to sum up the utter wackiness of this series is Episode 10:

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