Hot on the heels of their creepy Christmas photo shoot, Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison have released an even creepier video that will make you want an extra shower for Christmas. In it, Courtney wears that same red bikini and stripper shoes as she sits on Doug’s lap doing those weird writhing-twoards-the-camera motions she seems to have decided are shorthand for “sexy.” When told she’s on the “naughty” list, I’m pretty sure she replies, “well then spank me Santa, cause I want that for Christmas, is your spank hand.” But he does not deliver. Maybe he’s not into that?
In what’s bound to become a new terrible pickup line, she also offers to read him some of her tweets, which he momentarily mistakes for “treats.” (Courtney’s tweets are treats, it’s true.) “Instead of you silently sliding down my chiseled chimney this year, can I slide down yours?” “You can slide down Santa’s chimney any time you like, young lady,” he responds. Maybe Doug didn’t want to spank her is because he’s actually a sub! And their sex life grows ever more advanced.