As you may know, Norway is currently experiencing a tragic butter shortage that’s left many citizens wondering how they’re going to bake Christmas cookies this year. Because the jokes write themselves, many people have been making light of this issue, but a self-described “singer, celebritys [sic.], and famous bloggers [sic.]” named Tommy has taken to Youtube to tell you to cut it out.
From the beginning, you can tell that Tommy is very sad about butter. “What if it was yu who didn’t have any butter?” he asks us to imagine, which is hard because we do have butter, but let’s try to play along. “What if I came home to you and took your butter away from you?” Tommy gets increasingly upset until the end, when he scolds us, “you don’t know how it feels not having butter in Christmas time. And I ask again, what if it was you [pregnant, emotional pause] who didn’t have butter?” He ends by threatening to come to all our houses and eat our butter “in front of you and your family’s eyes, and force you to watch me eat all your butter that you were gonna have on Christmas eve.” I’m pretty sure that qualifies him for a spot on Homeland Security’s no-fly list. Americans don’t mess around with their saturated fats.