What Your Favorite Christmas Movie Says About You

What it's about: The darkly funny tale of little Ralphie, who wants nothing more than a BB gun for Christmas but ends up wearing embarrassing bunny footie pajamas and getting his tongue stuck to a frozen telephone pole.

What it says about you: You grew up consistently disappointed with your Christmas gifts; no matter how many hints you dropped, your parents failed every year to get the one thing you actually wanted.

What it's about: One of Arnold Schwarzenegger's better comedies, where he plays a workaholic dad who wants to prove to his son that he can be a good father. Unfortunately, the only way to do that is to buy the much-coveted Turbo Man action figure. Sinbad plays a dueling father, making for some pretty hilarious scenes at the Toys R Us stand-in.

What it says about you: You're the poor schmuck who struggles every year to get the right presents for your friends. Also, you were probably born in the mid-to-late 1980s.

What it's about: Buddy the elf leaves the North Pole to track down his birth parents, but everyone in mean old New York City thinks he's crazy.

What it says about you: You hate your job and want to quit so you can follow your passion of underwater basket-weaving or whatever. Also, you DVR New Girl for Zooey Deschanel.

What it says about you: The ensemble rom-com to end all ensemble rom-coms--long before Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve, there was this charming film that celebrates a beloved holiday without cramming a million guest stars in in the hopes of making millions.

What it says about you: You're that annoying person who loves to dance in the snow and gives the best Secret Santa gifts at your dorm/office.

What it's about: Not the Jim Carrey version--the original cartoon, of course. Same story, though: The small-hearted Grinch tries to ruin Christmas for the citizens of Whoville.

What it says about you: You squeal over anything small and cute, from puppies to piglets to babies.

What it's about: Little Macaulay Culkin gets left behind when his parents rush to the airport for Christmas vacation. It's a dream come true, until he realizes that two burglars are planning to rob the place, thinking it's empty.

What it says about you: You regularly have the classic dream of showing up at your final exam a) without pens or paper, b) having never attended the class all semester, and c) naked.

What it's about: In their typical fashion, the Griswolds manage to mess up everything about Christmas.

What it says about you: You are a proponent of schadenfreude--that is, taking enjoyment out of others' misfortune.

What it's about: Detective John McClane's (Bruce Willis) Christmas praty is cut short by a gang of terrorists led by Alan Rickman.

What it says about you: You cut down your own Christmas tree instead of buying it from a tree lot. Hell, you chopped down your neighbors' tree too since they're too pussy to do it for themselves.

What it's about: The real Santa Claus is put on trial, and no one believes him but little Mara Wilson. (Yes, we're going with the 1994 version.)

What it says about you: You believed in Santa until you were ten years old, much to your embarrassment after all the kids on the playground teased you for being a baby.

What it's about: George Bailey wishes he had never been born.

What it says about you: You've never completed your New Year's resolutions.

What it's about: Charlie Brown is depressed at the overcommercialization of Christmas; then when he tries to get into the holiday spirit, he thinks he's failed.

What it says about you: It's your first Christmas without your family, whether you can't fly home from college or you're starting a new tradition with roommates or a significant other.

What it's about: We could have chosen the feel-good movie about a father's ghost who gets a second chance... or the horror movie about a killer snowman who rapes a woman in the bathtub. We chose the horror movie.

What it says about you: You are a twisted fuck, and we applaud you.

What it's about: The Muppets' take on the Charles Dickens story, starring Michael Caine as Scrooge.

What it says about you: You prefer classic tales with a modern twist.

What it's about: After accidentally killing Santa, Tim Allen must step into the big guy's boots--and he starts to become pretty fat and jolly himself.

What it says about you: You'll probably enroll in law school if you haven't already; you love nothing more than a tricky contract clause.

What it's about: Documentarian Morgan Spurlock follows performance artist "Reverend Billy" and his traveling choir to criticize the commercialization of Christmas.

What it says about you: You are a member of, or will soon join, Occupy Wall Street.