Would you like a chance to hear “Trapped In The Closet” while you, yourself, are trapped on a cruise ship? Today’s your lucky day! Funniest man in R&B R. Kelly has just announced he’s joining the likes of Weezer, John Mayer, KISS, the garage rockers of The Bruise Cruise, and my personal favorite Skrillex, in offering a musical cruise just for his biggest and most nautically inclined fans. It’s called “The Love Letter Cruise,” after his 2010 album Love Letter, critically hailed by The New York Times as “lean[ing] heavily on gentle adult-contemporary R&B.” Fun times!
For a mere $1,499 (and up), cruisers will go on a four-day voyage from Miami to the Bahamas and back, during which they’ll be treated to a sensual R. Kelly concert, as well as performances from a few other artists TBA. For an event that costs about twice as much as other musical cruises, it seems a little light on the R. Kelly, but cruisers will also be treated to “delicious cuisines,” a “stepping class,” a “12 play basketball game” and massages (which are extra)…i.e., the same things you can get on any cruise.
The cruise’s website also promises “And more!! To come!!!” at the end of its list of activities. One can only hope that “more” includes “all manner of water sports,” because I hear he’s really into those.