Lindsay Lohan’s Secret Diary Reveals She Was ‘In Love’ With Heath Ledger

Star magazine and RadarOnline are reporting that they’ve gotten their mitts on Lindsay Lohan‘s private diary and that it reveals that Linds was madly in love with dearly departed star Heath Ledger. Whether they were actually physically involved is unclear, but the January 22, 2008 entry from a 21-year-old Lindsay reads (in pink pen, natch):

Today Heath died. I’m in love with him…. He was the love of my life. He taught me so much, and he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more.

I want to hear him laugh and hold me. I crave his touch and care.

When a person dies the world stops. I’m numb.

Now, “obtained” could mean anything from a resourceful paparazzo sneaking into Lindsay’s home, to Dina Lohan turning over her daughter’s pink-penned ramblings for the press to feast on. But let’s assume it’s real.

Star goes on to say that Lindsay and Heath were so close that she had plans to visit him in New York City just a few days after his death. Indeed, the world did notice Lindsay grieving (see the photo) but didn’t think much of it in light of the grief of Heath’s ex-girlfriend (and mother of his child) Michelle Williams. Ironically, there was some surprise about who he had been seeing at the time of his death, but that was Mary-Kate Olsen.

That said, the rumors definitely existed. Back in 2007, an Australian magazine claimed that Lindsay and Heath had a “purely physical” friends-with-benefits deal going on. However, sites like Technorati pointed out that the only “relationship” the two might have had was the notoriously hard-partying Lindsay supplying Heath with drugs.  [tagbox tag="Lindsay-Lohan"]

Astonishingly, the person this most lends credence to is Michael Lohan. Back in 2008, he was shopping around recorded phone conversations with Dina, which alleged a romantic and dangerous mentor-mentee relationship between Heath and their daughter. RadarOnline (no surprise) published a transcript of one call in which Dina lays out her fears:

Because when she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking. And she was dating Heath when he died. I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok? So that fucked her up.

Perez Hilton makes an observation that fills in another puzzle piece: Why LiLo was so angry when Michelle Williams nabbed the role of Marilyn Monroe in My Week with Marilyn. Not only did Michelle get to be the love of Heath’s life, but she also played Lindsay’s idol. Them’s the breaks, kid.