[Update: This post is old. For the lastest news on celebrity sex tapes click here.]
Not being an avid porn watcher, I’ve never paid much attention to the AVN Awards even though this three-decade celebration is “the Oscars of adult.” But I happened across the list of 2012′s nominations, with one category in particular that interested me. Now, although I wasn’t surprised to see that there’s an AVN Award for Best Celebrity Sex Tape, it’s their definition of “celebrity” that’s worth looking at.
Only a few of the names are immediately recognizable; others take a few six-degrees-of-separation steps before you know who’s being featured. What I want to know is, why didn’t they include more high-profile stories like Montana Fishburne or Carrie Prejean?
[Update: AVN reached out to us to clarify: "Montana Fishburne and Carrie Prejean were considered at last year’s awards ceremony. The eligibility requirements state that DVDs must be released between Oct. 1 of the previous year and Sept. 30 of the current year for consideration."]
Regardless, as I said, each of these people has had her brush (boink) with fame. Here’s your rundown of the nominees. Warning: Most of these links are NSFW, so proceed at your own risk!
- Tila Tequila: Fleshbot is calling bullshit that Tila Tequila Uncorked is a sex tape released without the reality star’s consent, even though there’s a clip going around where she asks one of her two lady partners “to delete this video after we’re done.” What’s more likely is that all the “Tila’s really pissed and won’t sign over the rights” drama is just another way of hyping the eventual, inevitable release of the video.
- Chyna: The former wrestler (real name Joanie Laurer) seems to be the nominee with the most control over the specifics of her tape. It sounds as if she just went to Vivid Entertainment and said, “I want to make a sex tape.” And not just any tape, but with the best guys in the biz! Own it, girl.
- Phil Varone: The Skid Row drummer obviously doesn’t feel ashamed of his stint on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew or his so-called sex addiction. When his video Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash got released this summer, he threw a party! Varone brags that he’s had sex with over 3,000 women; of the tape, he said, “This was the first time for me with the incredible five girls in the movie and I loved every minute I had with each of them.” So really he’s just using this to try and prolong his fame. [tagbox tag="celebrity sex tapes"]
- Brittney Jones: What’s hilarious about the nomination of Brittney Jones Confidential is that it’s about a girl who claims she slept with Ashton Kutcher, but no actual celebrities are in the video. The footage is courtesy of one of her exes, but that hasn’t stopped Vivid from marketing it as The Alleged Affair That Rocked A Hollywood Power Couple!
- Amy Fisher: You might know Amy as “the Long Island Lolita”—in 1992, the then-17-year-old shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her much older boyfriend Joey Buttafuoco. Since securing her place in pop-culture history, Amy worked for some time as a journalist but ultimately decided to turn to stripping and porn. Amy Fisher Is Sex features footage of her and estranged husband Lou Bellera. So yeah, she’s being called a “celebrity” even though the only place we’d see her is I Love the ’90s.
- Erica Lynn: This woman was on The Bad Girls’ Club. At least be a Real Housewife before we’ll consider you a celebrity! But if that’s your thing, her movie is called Erica Lynn Is Badd: The XXX Home Movies. (Sigh.)
- Jasmine Waltz: Here’s another Hollywood mistress, though in her case it’s been proven: Jasmine briefly dated David Arquette after his separation from Courteney Cox. She claims that Jasmine Waltz: Hollywood It Girl was made with an ex-boyfriend on Valentine’s Day and that she had no idea the tape would be released.
- Karissa Shannon: The former Playboy playmate allegedly made a sex tape with Heidi Montag, which Spencer Pratt later stole. Sadly, Karissa Shannon Superstar is not that tape.
My favorite quote comes from Jasmine Waltz, playing ignorant, which sums up this list: “I’m not even famous which blows my mind even more, I’m just a girl in Hollywood.”