A Grumpy Discussion Of The 2011 Grammy Nominees

So the nominees for the 2011 Grammy Awards were announced yesterday, and when Liana and I looked at them, our reactions ranged from intense indifference to full-on stabbing rage. Here is the G-chat conversation that ensued.

Liana‬: So the Grammys are meaningless at this point, right?

me‬: I think so? I haven’t paid attention to them since I was in high school.
They were playing last year at Legion and all my friends were bummed.

Liana‬: Oh man. Legion has a TV?

me‬: Apparently!

We were like, “don’t we hang out in Williamsburg to get away from this shit?”

Liana‬: My friends call that bar “Lesions” and now I can’t go in it.

I feel like if there was any glimmer of hope for resuscitation for these awards, they died with recognizing “Moves Like Jagger.”

Moves Like Jagger : Grammys :: Crash : Oscars

me‬: seriously

And LOL@ Skrillex for best new artist

Liana‬: They’re on Atlantic Records, apparently.

me‬: Isn’t he like, nu metal dub step?

Liana‬: Yeah, I have never actually listened to Skrillex, I think.

So for Record of the Year, I guess I vote “none of them.”

That Bon Iver song is terrible – do you disagree?

me‬: I don’t think it’s terrible, but it’s not his best song.

Liana‬: I find Bon Iver to be so precious and annoyingly insular. He’s just so self-consciously, “I am making this magical music and it will transport you to my magical, sad, white guy world.”

me‬: I will say that it’s not that surprising that out of all the token indie bands they could have picked, they chose one of the most Starbucksy.

Liana‬: Agreed. Also, Mumford and Sons is a band made up of cardigans with facial hair.

me‬: It sounds like a stuffy restaurant to me. Or maybe a lawfirm?

Liana‬: An architecture firm?

Also, calling you record “Bon Iver, Bon Iver” by Bon Iver is just fucking RUDE.

“Here, say this pretentious name THREE TIMES.”

me‬: Who is he, Beetlejuice?

Liana‬: No, that is Bruno Mars.

me‬: Because they both wear suits?

Liana‬: Yes, that is where the similarities end.

Liana: So Adele. Clearly Adele is very talented, but also, sort of boring?

me‬: She’s one of the only wins that wouldn’t make me super angry…I’m just sort of like, “whatever.”

Liana‬: Totally. She is completely just fine.

me‬: But only by comparison

Liana‬: I feel like white people like her because she sings like a black girl, but she is a white girl!

‪me‬: Also she is kind of chubby and got dumped, so she is relatable.

Liana‬: Right. More so than say, Taylor Swift, who is skinny and beautiful and got dumped.

me‬: That bitch!

Liana‬: (I love Taylor Swift. I will not apologize for it.)

me‬: Can we talk about how weird it is to see The Decemberists dropped in among all these bands that have been on modern rock radio since we were in middle school?

Liana‬: Totally. (I hate that band also. I am a real jerk.)



me‬: I will always be an emo kid at heart. A Goth kid, too.

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    • Jan

      I’m sorry, but how is this a legitimate article about the Grammys? I felt like my intelligence was being severely insulted the whole time. If you honestly think The Civil Wars’ album was better crafted than the Fleet Foxes one, you’ve been hit over the head one too many times. (And this comes from someone who is a fan of both and was disappointed in the latter.)

      Also, Bon Iver’s album title is just Bon Iver… Not Bon Iver, Bon Iver.