Remember yesterday’s Daily WTF, where I questioned the legitimacy of an advocacy group known as the American Mustache Institute? It turns out they’re not an Internet prank and are real, since they wrote us to say so. So of course we had to ask a) why exactly they stopped supporting presidential hopeful Herman Cain, and b) which celebrities’ lady ticklers they’re particularly fond of.
As we reported, AMI dropped Cain after visiting a Godfather’s Pizza and becoming disappointed with the lack of meat on meat-lovers’ pies. That, and the allegations that Cain’s signature mustache is a fake! When we asked how they determined such sensitive information, AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut answered,
We’ve received reports from members of the Mustached American community working in and around the Cain camp that his labia sebucula (Latin for “lip sweater”) may in fact be a theater quality fake, and the overall body of work — from the potential faux, to the poor quality pizza, was just too much to endure.
But at the end of the day, Cain’s facial hair is small beans compared to the iconic ‘staches in pop culture. Speaking for the group, Perlut’s answers were more in the past 30 years as opposed to more recently, and ranged from well-known ones to unexpected choices:
In terms of celebrity mustaches, there are many wide ranging choices: from the obvious selections of Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds, to those nose accoutrements of Billy Dee Williams, Sam Elliot, and NHL hockey star George Parros.
In case the mental image of these ‘staches isn’t jarring your memory: Tom Selleck played Monica’s older boyfriend Richard onFriends, and of course Billy Dee Williams was Lando Calrissian in the Star Wars movies. But the list doesn’t stop with movies and sports. After all, how can you be taken seriously as a news leader (or news maker) with subpar facial hair?
Without question, the two most “influential” mustaches in history would be those of Walter Cronkite and Martin Luther King.
Cronkite’s mouth shading device influenced an entire decade of good looking newsmen in the 1970s. And because of Dr. King, when white America abandoned the mustache in the 1980s, Black America did not.