Justin Bieber’s Snake Now Available For Purchase

Have you ever wanted to own a little piece of Justin Bieber? How about his Johnson? By which I mean his…flesh colored snake? His flesh colored snake he likes to…fondle? I’m talking about his penis, y’all. BUY IT.

Just kidding, I’m talking about the baby boa constrictor he took with him to the 2011 VMAs, whose name is Johnson and who is currently being auctioned off to benefit Pencils Of Promise (heh), a non-profit organization that builds school and increases access to education in the developing world.

Oh, to be a celebrity, for whom “I don’t want this pet anymore” can be spun into a selfless and charitable action. (I was stuck taking care of an un-wanted guinea pig for a good year before I found a proper home for it. Someone give me a medal.) But isn’t it sort of weird to auction off a live animal like it’s some kind of toy? Never fear: the auction comes with the following disclaimer: [tagbox tag= "Justin Bieber"]

Please note: Keeping a pet snake is a long term responsibility. Before making any decision about keeping one please ensure you have the money, space, knowledge, time, resources and enthusiasm required to properly care for the species you intend to keep, for the duration of it’s life.

The winning bidder will be screened upon the close of the auction. The welfare of this snake is the sole responsibility of the adopter. The adopter agrees to give the snake good care which includes quality premium food, fresh water, sanitation and grooming, clean and secure indoor housing, clean and secure outdoor housing and overall safety. Winner must sign a Personal Injury and Limited Liability release, and must guarantee necessary vet care will be provided.

Do you hear that, people? If Justin’s snake bites you, it’s not his fault! Sounds an awful lot like what’s going on in the other Justin Bieber “snake” story currently circulating around the Internet.

(Via Buzzworthy)

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