I realize that Oktoberfest starts in September, but somehow, it didn’t feel right to write an Oktoberfest drinking game until it was actually October. So, hey, welcome, October! Let’s get our Oktoberfest on! Grab a beer (or two, or five, or a dozen), a couple of friends, and let’s get busy!
History lesson! It’s October 12, 1810: Prince Ludwig just got married to Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen. Hello, Oktoberfest! Nice to meet you! Let’s have a drink.
You didn’t make it to an Oktoberfest celebration, but you’re drinking Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer: Take a drink, you American, you.
You didn’t make it to an Oktoberfest celebration, but you’re drinking German beer: Take a drink, you cultured American, you.
You’re at an Oktoberfest celebration in the US: Hoorah! Take a drink!
You’re at an Oktoberfest celebration in Canada: Hoorah! Take two drinks!
You’re at an Oktoberfest celebration somewhere in Germany: Hoorah! Take three drinks!
You’re at the Oktoberfest celebration in Munich in particular: Hoorah! Take four drinks, because THAT’S where you want to be!
There’s a beer tent: Take a drink for each tent. Even if there’s 14 of them.
A drink is ordered: Take a drink, of course!
A Maß is ordered: A half-liter? Good for you! Take two drinks!
Beer wench!: Take a drink!
Dirndl!: Take two drinks!
Lederhosen!: Take three drinks!
Tirolerhüte!: Take four drinks and tip your hat!
A toast!: Make your neighbor take a drink.
A pretzel!: Take a drink and eat your pretzel.
A sausage! Take a drink and eat your sausage.
The band begins to play: Take a drink!
The band begins to play “Ein Prosit”: Take two drinks and sing your heart out!
You’re at a “quiet Oktoberfest”: A “quiet Oktoberfest”? What the hell is that?
The bands can’t play loud music until 6pm:What the hell is the point of that??
Look, just deal with it: Fine. Take a drink for every missed opportunity to be loud.
Hey, look! A carnival ride!: Awesome! Take a drink for each ride!
Doesn’t getting on that carnival ride sound like a marvelous idea?: Definitely. Take a drink before getting on it.
Whoops. Not so marvelous idea: Oof. Take a drink to steady your stomach.
A Red Cross tent appears: Take a drink and maybe take a stop at it. Just to make sure everything’s okay after that carnival ride incident.
You’re buzzed: Take a drink.
You’re drunk: Take a deep drink.
You’re blacked out: Take an unconscious drink.
You’re a “Bierleichen”: Congratulations, you are what the Germans call a “beer corpse.” Take a drink from beyond the metaphorical grave.
Oktoberfest is cancelled: Get really drunk anyway. It probably means there’s a cholera epidemic or a war anyway, since those are the only times in 200 years that Oktoberfest has been cancelled.