Lifetime’s The Bling Ring: The Highlights Reel

Despite looking like Chord Overstreet, Zack is just the shyest, greenest kid. It doesn't help that he's middle-class and his dad, though he works for a major studio, does so in payroll. (How gauche!)

Also, he gets anxiety when he's in a room with a huge amount of people, which is probably why he goes to the ghetto school with the portable classrooms... on the same campus as the rich school where he meets Yin.

The scene at Paris Hilton's place is pretty great: Natalie (Yin Chang) models Paris' huge shoes and pink babydoll nightgowns while Zack hyperventilates. Then a Paris lookalike struts in looking for her dog Tinkerbell. Now that's a confrontation we would've liked to see, even if it didn't actually happen in real life.

Despite the fact that they're maybe 16, these kids drive around Hollywood, shimmy into the hottest clubs, and get into the VIP room no problem. It can't be because adults respect them, so we guess it's just because of all the money they make from selling stars' clothes?

It helps that they get recognized at restaurants by waitresses who think they're reality stars or something.

These kids think they're so hardcore for sneaking into stars' mansions*, but pretty soon they fuck up: They don't count on lights that snap on when they detect motion, or, y'know, security cameras. (Though that does bring the movie's most badass moment, when a hooded Zack switches off the camera but the footage somehow makes it to YouTube.)

* They use TMZ and other gossip sites to find out when the stars are out of town, of course. That's the one part where we have to commend them--it is a pretty smart move.

The crux of this movie is that these teens, despite being beautiful and rich, only crave fame. And that, of course, is their tragic downfall: They create a paper trail for the authorities to follow by snapping photos with their "swag" and posting status updates that hint just enough at what they're up to in the evenings.

Zack is BMOC and has his own little posse, but tensions rise within the group when some people can't keep secrets. Natalie looks like she's ready to cut a bitch.

Notice in the corner: Secret Life of the American Teenager's Renee Olstead. All the press releases said she was "starring" in this movie, but obviously that was just a ploy to get more press. If she were in any scenes, I missed them.

Or something like that. Partway into his Bling Ring run, Zack meets Maddie (Spencer Locke), an uncool kid in the cool school. She gives him a fro-yo coupon that, even though Natalie makes fun of it, means a lot to Zack. So, it probably equals her virtue, especially when she says, "I made a mistake giving you that coupon."

How far you've fallen, Baby: As Zack's mom Iris, Jennifer Grey is either hyper-suspicious of her lonely son, or way too willing to trust when he suddenly has thousands of dollars' worth of clothing in his bedroom.

A lost opportunity for Lifetime was actually exploring the relationship between the two founding members of the Bling Ring. From the beginning, Natalie clearly wants to use Zack--she almost ditches him when she finds out his dad's job--but later she tells him he's her best friend.

This movie has such a soppy ending: The police watch Zack's statuses for his every move, and in Easy A fashion he writes, "Making it right" and posts his confession on YouTube.

Zach: "You should check it out, it's a pretty good story."

Policeman: "I've seen enough."

Because these shallow bitches were his friends. What?