First Song Off Lou Reed/Metallica Collaboration Album Is As Terrible As We Feared

When I first heard that legendary musician Lou Reed was collaborating with Metallica on an album, I thought it had to be a joke. Why would Lou Reed, former front man of The Velvet Underground and pioneer of downtown avant-garde, want to touch that snarling bro-rock favorite with a ten foot pole? Was it some kind of elaborate performance art?

If so, he’s intent on keeping us in the dark about it. The first single off imminent Loutallica album Lulu has just hit the Internet, and it’s every bit as bad as I anticipated. Maybe worse! Over a generic sounding metal riff, Lou freestyles in that unmistakable voice of his. Only instead of a poetic and interesting story about New York City bohemia a la Street Hassle, it’s a clichéed rant against…someone he “actively despises.” A lady, perhaps? I guess it’s still poetic, but only in the way that an angsty 13-year-old’s journal is poetic. Bad poetry is poetry, too.

I know that Lou Reed is allowed to do as he likes, but I never thought he’d submit himself to something as un-self consciously ridiculous as this. What would Andy Warhol think? This goes without saying, but it’s worse than Metallica’s other output, too. Or, as one astute commenter put it, “This is one way to keep people from stealing your music.”

(Via Sound Of The City; SOTC also credited with coinage of “Loutallica,” a term I hope I don’t have to see much in the future.)


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