Miley Cyrus’ week wasn’t tough in quite the same way that, say, Scarlet Johansson’s was last week, but it was still pretty tough. When you’ve gotten into trouble about releasing unintentionally sexy things before, and suddenly you’re accused of it again, even though you haven’t actually DONE anything this time? Sort of sucks. So here, Miley. Have a drinking game. You’re 18, though, so make sure you play it with apple cider.
It’s November 23, 1992: Champagne and cigars for baby Miley!
Oh wait, that’s not her real name?:
Sorry. Let’s try that again. It’s November 23, 1992: Champagne and cigars for baby Destiny Hope!
A nickname appears: Take a drink for Smiley.
That nickname gets shortened: Take a drink for Miley, and then take a bonus drink, because the legend has now been given her legendary name.
Baby Miley gets a godmother: Take a drink.
That godmother is Dolly Parton: Seriously? Wow. Take a drink. Actually, take two drinks. And go to Dollywood.
Miley changes her middle name: It’s now “Ray.” Take a drink for the departed Hope.
Miley goes to her very first audition: Take a drink and cross your fingers.
Big Fish! Take a drink for Miley’s first big screen appearance! Also take a bonus drink, because she’s credited as Destiny Cyrus.
Miley auditions for Hannah Montana: Take a drink.
Wait, she auditioned for the role of the best friend?: Take two drinks.
She’s cast as the title character: Take three drinks and get ready for craziness.
It’s a hit!: Take a drink and party! (But don’t party in the USA. Yet.)
Miley signs to a talent agency: Take a drink for each agency.
There’s more than one?: Yep. Take a bonus drink.
Meet Miley Cyrus: Breaking out of the mold, I see. Take a drink for daring.
It goes platinum: Take a drink for each time it goes platinum. Count ‘em: 1, 2, 3.
The licorice picture happens: Take a drink through a Twizzler straw.
Whoops! That wasn’t sexy, it was ACCIDENTALLY sexy!: Sure it was. Take a drink.