Did you think that last week was going to be the only 90 minute episode of Teen Mom this season? HA. Because guess what, y’all? Last night was the season finale of Teen Mom’s third season, so of COURSE there was another hour-and-a-half-long episode to commemorate the occasion. What will Farrah decide to do with Sophia? Will Maci figure out what to do about Ryan? How are Catelynn and Tyler faring? And what about Amber and Gary’s no-contact order? Read on!
DO: Put your differences with your parents aside for your child’s birthday.
It’s Sophia’s second birthday! Happy birthday, Sophia! And in spite of the fact that Farrah begins the episode with a voiceover declaring that she and her parents are going to set aside their disagreement over the whole Florida thing for Sophia’s day, the first thing out of Farrah’s mouth when she arrives at her parents’ house is “MICHAEL SHUT THE HELL UP!” Nice. In any event, she frosts a cake for Sophia, bitching to her mom about nothing in particular the whole time, after which they break out the presents, light the candles, and get the party started. They reminisce about the day Sophia was born: Farrah’s mom remembers it being stressful; Farrah rudely spits out that it wasn’t stressful at all, and that gosh, Deborah will just remember it her OWN way. Bitch Farrah seems to be out in full force today, Sophia’s birthday be damned.
DO: Listen to people properly, especially when they’re trying to help you.
At least Sophia seems to be having a great time in spite of Bitch Farrah; but then Deborah decides to use the time to try to talk to Farrah one more time about Florida. It’s actually pretty admirable how she handles it this time. She starts positive, congratulating Farrah on having accomplished so much in such difficult circumstances; but she says that Farrah is going to need more than that in order to accomplish everything else she wants to do. Farrah finally reveals something we didn’t know: She’s finding that the things she thought would make her happy, don’t. Maybe this is why Bitch Farrah has been coming out so much lately. She starts to cry. Farrah’s mom tries to get her to see leaving Sophia with them as a gift: Farrah needs to “have the time to figure YOU out,” as her mother says. Deborah assures her that she’s not trying to get between her and Sophia—as a mother herself, she would never try to do that. She reminds her that she has always made sure Sophia knows who her mother is, and has made sure that she’s generous with her hugs. Every mother needs her daughter to hug her, Deborah says; you never outgrow that. Deborah, for example, hasn’t, which becomes apparent when she starts to cry. Now would be a good time for Farrah to go over and hug her, but of course she doesn’t. But maybe this time what Deborah is saying is sinking in: Farrah needs to sort herself out. Badly. And if her parents take care of Sophia for a while, maybe that will give her the opportunity to do so.
Farrah meets up with a friend that she hasn’t seen in a while to talk the issue out. Farrah admits that if she didn’t have her parents’ help, she “wouldn’t be able to handle 24-hour Sophia.” They chitchat about this and that—they really HAVEN’T seen each other in a while, because neither of them seems to have a clue what the other’s been up to lately. Like, y’know, finishing school.
Anyway, then Farrah drops the F-bomb (Florida. Not the other F word. See what we did there?) She follows it up with the information that her mom wants her to leave Sophia with them. She admits that Sophia has been at her parents’ a lot; her friend tells her that if she needs time for herself and that her parents will help facilitate that, she should take it.
DO: Make up your mind.
At home, Farrah talks with Sophia about the situation—which means really, she’s talking her decision out for the cameras. She writes “Should Sophia stay?” on an Etcha-A-Sketch-like of doodle toys. And then Farrah says that yes, she thinks it will be better for Sophia to stay with her parents. It will be better for both of them. Then in one slow sweep, she erases the doodle toy’s screen, wiping away the words “Should Sophia stay?” Profound.
Deborah decides that she wants to buy Sophia a dress, so she and Farrah take her shopping. During this lovely shopping spree, Farrah breaks the news to her mom that she’s decided to leave Sophia with them when she moves to Florida. Deborah praises Farrah for taking the time she needs to sort herself out. Farrah reiterates that she doesn’t want to be sad anymore; and again, it occurs to me that maybe this is why Bitch Farrah has been coming out to play so frequently this season. It doesn’t excuse her behavior, but at least I can sort of understand where it’s coming from. Maybe this really is what she needs now.
DON’T: Forget where you came from.
Before she leaves for Florida, Farrah takes Sophia around to all the places that remind her of Derek: Where they met, Lookout Point, (where they would apparently just talk. I wonder if that’s where Sophia was conceived?), where they went to high school, etc. She reminisces about high school romance, then compares it to the real world. Big difference, ain’t it? It’ll be hard to be away from Sophia, but Farrah feels better about moving now.