Some consolation for those hoping to stave off the apocalypse a little longer: Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison haven’t actually found a network willing to air their crazy misadventures. But what they do have is producer Roy Bank, best known for Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (That could be their title! Are You Older Than a Fifth Grader?)
Courtney’s mom Krista Keller, who’s already gone off the deep end in terms of looking at her daughter solely as a commodity, is more than happy to share all the details of the couple’s latest cry for attention:
- The focal point will be their shudder-inducing age difference, rather than any sort of competition or money scheme.
- “It’s going to show people what they can teach each other from different generations”—wait, wasn’t that the pitch for The Girls Next Door?
- They’ll exploit Doug’s family, who probably think their son is a sexual predator and want to distance themselves as far from him as possible, by forcing them into a reconciliation.
- Oh, and Courtney will address the “cyber bullying” that went on once she and Doug went public with their relationship. You know, people calling foul about her age and whether her breasts were real. (Not so much cyber bullying as free publicity, but OK.)
What do you want to bet we’ll be treated to Courtney’s dramatic readings of her sexually graphic tweets? And let’s close with one more quote from Krista: “Courtney is No. 1 in ratings for whatever she does.” Sadly, sadly this is true.