Did you have any faith left that American isn’t a depressing, completely morally bankrupt, oh-my-god-what-is-wrong-with-everyone? place to live? Well, sorry to ruin that facade for you with this fun little news item: A 39-year-old man named Robert Lyons from DuPage County, Illinois is accused of killing his own mother because she refused to get him premium tickets to an Avril Lavigne concert.
Evidently, Robert flipped out when his mother wouldn’t to call a friend to arrange skybox seats so Robert could attend Avril’s show. Their argument got heated and Robert stabbed his mother to death, poured cleaning chemicals on her body, then left the house to go shopping. He was arrested several hours later at a Hooters, of all places, where he had spent the rest of the day hanging out. Robert has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and his defense attorneys are saying that he was provoked into attacking his mother, who had threatened to stab him in the eye.
Depressed yet? I sure am. And I’m sure a Law & Order “ripped from the headlines” is mere episodes away. I hope you’re happy, Avril.