• Mon, Sep 19 2011

All The Things That Are Wrong With Aaron Sorkin’s ‘I Broke My Nose While Writing’ Argument

Aaron Sorkin broke his nose. Aaron Sorkin broke his nose while writing, or so Aaron Sorkin says. Is Aaron Sorkin lying? (Apologies to Mother Goose.) From The Hollywood Reporter:

Aaron Sorkin, who penned The Social Network and The West Wing and co-wrote Moneyball, which will open in theaters next week, showed up at an Emmy event in West Hollywood on Friday with a broken nose. It turns out he injured himself while writing.

‘I wish I could say I was in a bar fight, but I broke my nose while writing,’ the Academy Award winning screenwriter told the Los Angeles Times. He said he was staring into a mirror, working on some dialogue, when he got too close and head-butted himself.”

Ridiculous. Here are all the things that are wrong with this story:

• Who the hell writes in front of the mirror? I know a lot of writers and that isn’t a thing that any single one of them does, ever. Generally writers avoid mirrors, for that matter. Desks, couches, beds… that’s it.

• Aaron Sorkin is a recovering cocaine addict. People with addictions often show up with bizarre injuries. It sure seems like Aaron cut his nose on Ockham’s Razor, doesn’t it?

• Okay, let’s say that Aaron Sorkin really does write dialogue by staring in the mirror. There’s no way he could have accidentally propelled himself at his wall harder than The Situation did on Jersey Shore, and Sitch’s nose came out of that skirmish just fine.

And now, here are all the things that are right with this story:

• Aaron Sorkin is known for writing characters who are basically himself (see: all of Studio 60). So it does sort of make sense that he’d use himself to test his own dialogue.

• Addicts tend to be notoriously good liars. “I broke my nose while writing” is a terrible lie. So maybe it’s the truth.

• The walk-and-talk. Aaron Sorkin invented the walk-and-talk. So maybe he really does walk while he talks. It’s a revelation, really.

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