Video: Welcome to the Kristen Stewart School of Acting

Welcome to the Kristen Stewart School of Acting! We’re so pleased you decided to enroll in our program over such drama school giants as Julliard and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts; we may be small, but we are mighty, and we promise that you won’t regret your decision.

Here at KStewSchool, as we like to call ourselves, we teach three important lessons– and only three. As you work your way through our intensive ten-year curriculum (you can’t rush greatness!), you will learn to take these lessons to heart, and through them, you will deepen your knowledge and understanding of the great craft of acting. The three key lessons of KStewSchool are:

1) Acting isn’t LIKE breathing; it IS breathing.
2) When in doubt, run your hands through your hair distractedly.
3) Bite your lip a lot.

Perhaps this instructional video will help illustrate the importance of these three lessons:

Congratulations! You are now prepared to take on any role, so long as it does not require you to exhibit skills in anything other than the above-mentioned areas.

[Via YouTube]

You can reach this post's author, Lucia Peters, on twitter.
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    • mily

      Incredible, that with someone you can work, the girl is great! just great !!!!! and this video is really ridiculous. I have Stopla stupidity after a while. Someone had simply not room! People, Boycott and do not …………. Kristen, you are excellent in all his films.

      • jenny

        no, she is NOT. That’s her acting terribly in the video, not her twin sis.

    • stephen

      Why don’t you post a video of DeNiro squinting through every role…or Pacino throwing a temper tantrum in every role. She’s 21 years old and you are holding her to standards that even a seasoned actor could not live up to. Why are you crushing so hard on her? The Runaways, Speak, Yellow Handkerchief, Cake Eaters…..all great performances.

    • Ccc

      When you put all the breathing together it sounds like a hot sex scene. She does a lot more acting than breathing in her movies,but I guess, I did not realize she breathed in so much.

    • Hobbo Joe

      here’s your veggie plate Sophie lol
      You’ll notice that in all your scenes where Kristen plays with her hair or exhales exacerbatedly or bites her lip she is playing a character that would HAVE these habits and really just adds to her performance. all those roles she plays an angsty teen, and that’s exactly what I saw.

      • Anne

        Soooo every character should have the exact same tics? Seems like it’s demonstrating her limited range.

    • Mike Kirby

      You’ve got Kristen Stewart onscreen and you’re paying attention to her ACTING? What the fuck is wrong with you?

    • kat

      I’m very impressed with her use of the two-handed “run your hands through your hair distractedly” business. Many actors are fairly proficient with a one-handed run-through, but I’ve never seen someone even attempt to perfect a two-handed version and yet she pulls it off–and consciously makes it look “distractedly”–every single time! I’m SO excited to study this technique at the KStewSchool! I do hope there are plenty of prerequisite classes on movement and coordination leading up to the study of the two-handed run-through? It’s such a complicated technique–I’d hate to try to tackle it in only my fifth or sixth year.

      Of course, I’m also very excited to learn the other two lessons. I learned the hard way that unless you’re born with the talent, like KStew, you should NOT try to teach yourself lip biting. That trip to the ER was kind of scary.

      I HAVE been practicing my breathing though, and, although I do have some control issues, mostly it’s just depressing to have to practice with people who aren’t dedicated enough to the craft to understand what I’m trying to do. (One acting partner stopped our scene and tried to give me the Heimlich Maneuver, and another kept making snide remarks about hairballs.)

      That’s why I’m so excited to enroll in the KStewSchool! It will be wonderful to learn with others who understand what great acting is all about!