Beyoncé’s Fetus Is Already Tweeting, Granting Interviews

Beyoncé‘s fetus might not even have distinct digits yet, but that hasn’t stopped it from setting up a twitter account from inside the belly of the Bey. (Who, if this tweeter is to be believed, managed to swallow a small mobile device.) Its tweets range from somewhat amusing to a tad facile, which is not bad for a critter that does not even have the cognitive function of a newborn infant yet. Here are some of my favorite tweets thus far:

Furthermore, The Onion News Network is already claiming to have scored an exclusive interview with the budding zygote. “The fetus really opened up to me,” The Onion‘s Brooke Alvarez said in a press release. “It does not yet have the life experience or brain functionality to understand social norms, so it was very candid.” I can’t wait until its first nude photos leak.

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