• Sun, Aug 28 2011

Camp Week: Crushable’s ‘So You’re Going Camping’ Survival Kit

So you’re going camping, eh? What an excellent idea! Not sure what to bring with you? Well, we can help you out with that. Though be warned: When we say “camping,” we don’t mean camping of the pitch-a-tent-in-the-woods variety. We mean a very special kind of camping. We mean the sort that involves tacky decorations and drag queens. So what are you going to need to survive this camping trip of ours? Read on to find out!

1) Lawn Flamingos
Obviously you’re going to need one of these most useful of creatures. Not only are they decorative, but also, you can use the pointy metal bits as a weapon should the need arise.

Archie McPhee, $19.95

2) How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
Though the lawn flamingo is known to be friendly, the garden gnome is somewhat less so. In the event of attack, you’ll need to know how to defend yourself and your flamingo against those vicious gnomes. This handy how-to guide will help.

Amazon, $10.19

3) John Waters DVDs
What better way to keep yourself campily entertained than with the cinema of the poster child for camp? May we suggest the pre-Broadway Hairspray, Polyester, and (of course) Pink Flamingos.

Amazon, $6.49, $10.07, and $10.79

4) The Batmobile
Because nothing’s campier than the 1966 Batman television show starring Adam West and Burt Ward.. Besides, you’re going to need a mode of transportation, and it really doesn’t get much better than this.

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