Teen Mom Amber Portwood’s Brother Has a Blog!

Stop the presses: Someone involved in the Teen Mom franchise who is actually sane has a blog. And it’s AWESOME.

Remember Amber Portwood’s brother Shawn? The one that we met in the second episode of the current season of Teen Mom? Amber and Gary took Leah on a disastrous vacation to a water park, and they went with Shawn, his girlfriend, and their two kids. Over the course of the trip, it became apparent that Shawn Portwood is quite possibly the only member of that family who has his shit together. When Amber bitched about how awful the car ride was, Shawn told her to stop being an idiot, talk to Gary, and chill out. When she said that Gary can be a “freaking retard” sometimes, Shawn told her they’re both retarded. When she told Shawn that she and Gary were in couples therapy, Shawn told her that they didn’t need couples therapy, they needed anger management classes. All of this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. The best part, though, is that Shawn wasn’t mean the way Amber can be about any of this stuff. He was just being truthful and honest, and he was giving Amber a much-needed wake-up call. Whether or not she actually REGISTERED the wake-up call is a different matter, but I’m really glad that at least someone around there has his head on straight. And now he has a blog! Go Team Shawn!

Shawn has dubbed his blog “The ‘Chili Man’ Chronicles.” I’m not really sure where the “Chili Man” bit came from– maybe it’s a nickname that we don’t know the backstory of– but the blog went into operation on August 13 with the description, “Basically I have many opinions and need to get them out in one way or another. They range from issues concerning my sister, niece, MTV, Jersey Shore (which I despise), and many other things.” So far, Shawn has addressed the Aeropostale banning Gary from wearing their clothing debacle and the incident involving Leah and the condoms, leading the blog to be mostly about two things: How much he hates Gary and why, and how much he hates MTV and why. The “why” is the important bit. He had some solid things to say about the condom incident in particular, a post which he cleverly titled “The Condoms Seen Around the World”:

“First, I would like to congratulate “Teen Mom” star Gary Shirley for doing something that he should have been doing for a while now, wearing condoms! Second, my hat goes off to you MTV for getting a close up of the Trojan Magnums seen around the world. Although they got a classic shot of my little niece playing with condoms; I wonder how it came about in the first place. What many do not know is that MTV likes to pre-plan or plant seeds in which to build from. My guess is that they did whatever they could to get Leah to play with the condoms and then get it on tape.”

Shawn goes on to talk about the bigger issues of MTV showing anything and everything that will be good TV without taking into account who or what will be affected by it– which is a reasonable concern. Besides the fact that it would be funny to see a two-year-old running around with a package of condoms, MTV probably didn’t bother to think how sucky it’s going to be for Leah when she’s older and getting teased on the playground for being the girl who ran around on national television with Daddy’s Magnums. But it’s good television, so they aired it– the same way they aired Amber hitting Gary, rather than calling the authorities to deal with it. It was good television, so they weren’t going to jeopardize that in any way.

There aren’t many entries up yet, but I’m looking forward to seeing what Shawn writes about as time goes on. I especially can’t wait to read what he thinks about Jersey Shore. Potential for greatness, no?

(Thanks to Lilit for the tip!)

You can reach this post's author, Lucia Peters, on twitter.
Share This Post:
    • B

      Wow, he is actually a decent writer and comments on the value of Aeropostale’s stock. Who would have guessed that someone related to Amber would be… literate?

    • Princess Daisy

      Yes, Shawn’s blog IS clever & funny. I wish him and his family all the best!

    • Shawn Portwood

      Just for this I will try and keep up with my blog as much as possible. Currently I am in college and it takes a great deal of my time, aside from kids, but I think I can take some time out a couple times a week to write. I have never had a passion for writing until I started school but this might be my calling. Thanks for this amazing article. Oh, one last thing, I do not hate Gary. He can get under my skin sometimes but he is alright, I guess.

      • CrazyGirl

        your sister needs HELP!!!!!!

      • Shawn Portwood

        Thank you! So you know and since you are unaware, she just got help. Spent two months away from her daughter to get help.

    • Pingback: You Guys! Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Was at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in NY! – Crushable | | Automotive Reviews OnlineAutomotive Reviews Online

    • Melissa

      Amber is so fake. Her tears are fake. Gary and leah are better off with out her. She might not physically abusive with Leah but is defiantly verbally abusive. And that’s what’s in front of the cameras. Who knows what happens when they are not rolling. She needs to spend time in jail so she can feel what it’s like to be without Leah. With love and concern I say this… You would think given the situation with her baby sister she would do everything in her power to protect Leah and give her a healthy environment. I think she’s far from it. Even at the reunion you can see her anger is still not under control. She’s demeaning to Gary. This girl needs help. She’s sick. If all else fails….. Old fashion a•• whipping.