I have a single television set in my living room equipped with basic, SD cable; Ashton Kutcher‘s trailer has seven 60-inch, 3-D plasma TVs. My apartment has a single bathroom that my two female roommates and I all share; Ashton Kutcher’s trailer has two bathrooms. My kitchen countertops have been sprayed with pesticide more times than I care to recount; Ashton Kutcher’s trailer’s kitchen has granite countertops. I have a fire escape with a wobbly ledge that one could conceivably use to make a private phone call; Ashton Kutcher’s trailer has a conference area.
I suppose it’s also worth mentioning that Ashton Kutcher’s trailer costs $8750 a week, while my apartment costs… well, significantly less than that. Buying the vehicle would cost a whopping $2 million, which is twice Ashton’s weekly salary for appearing on Two and a Half Men. Man, this is why I’ll never own a house. I can’t even afford a goddamn motor home.