• Tue, Aug 9 2011

Poll: Which Supporting Character Do You Want to See in the ‘Hills’ Movie?

Now don’t get too excited: Nothing is set in stone yet. Audrina Patridge was on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show this morning, where she said that enough time has passed since the series finale of The Hills (in 2010) that she could see herself and the other cast members getting together to do a movie. God knows that creator Adam DiVellowhose only producing credits are within the incestuous web of Laguna Beach, The Hills, and The City — needs the work. And now that Speidi is dead broke and looking for new reality jobs, the stars could have aligned enough to bring about this unasked-for big-screen sequel.

But the truth is, we don’t actually care about Ol’ Ceiling Eyes and her friends. The real stars we want involved are the fake love interests and faker co-workers that populated their tiny world! If DiVello and MTV could track these bystanders down and pay them enough money, we’d shell out to see their mugs on a forty-foot screen.

  • You can’t have a Hills reunion without Justin Bobby, the shaggy-haired lothario who ran over Audrina’s heart with his motorcycle more than once. And then he dated Kristin Cavallari. This one’s a keeper — probably not good for Audrina’s sanity, but his every line and facial expression is comic gold.
  • Kelly Cutrone is a “minor” character only in number of episodes; she was one of the show’s biggest presences, there to tell Lauren when to stop being an asshole and do her job. Really interesting was seeing her bond with Whitney Port on The City; you could see that Kelly had a soft spot for women who wanted to work hard.
  • We never knew whose friend Jen Bunney was supposed to be, since Lauren once gave her a diamond necklace, but then Jen made out with Lauren’s ex Brody Jenner at her birthday party. Once Lauren kicked her to the curb, Jen crawled over to Heidi’s camp, but Heidi also turned on her: Jen quit her job to star in a reality show with Heidi, but then the latter backed out. That showdown is exactly what we want to see in the movie.
  • It would make sense to have Jason Wahler only if Lauren joins the movie… or, actually, we could just watch him go after yet another unsuspecting young lady who doesn’t know of his cheating ways.
  • I think Elodie was my favorite female character: Heidi’s co-worker at Bolthouse Productions, who would stare vacantly and nod when Heidi was fretting over her latest fight with Spencer. But poor Elodie made the mistake of telling  Heidi she was going for a promotion, only for Heidi to step in and yank it away from her.

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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