Crushable Presents: ‘Bachelor Pad 2′ Superlatives (AKA Welcome To STD Central)

Craziest backstory:

Ella

Her mother was murdered 5 days before her parents divorced. By her dad, who shot mom with a sawed off shotgun. Apparently Ella doesn’t believe in something called TMI. At least we know why she’s insane.

Biggest Backstabber:

Rated R

When he shook the hands of the Red Skull-Kardashian alliance, that was the weakest endorsement since….gotta love that he didn’t wait 5 second before spilling the beans on their alliance. He seemed to understand how to play this game, too bad everyone hated him.

Biggest Wet Blanket (Male):

Tie: Blake and Kirk

This is a tough one in a house fill with duds. But if Blake and Kirk could just combine into one boring guy, it would be easier to keep track of the one snoozer. Though I can’t decide if he should be named Blirk or Kake.

Biggest Wet Blanket (Female):

Alli

She kinda looks like Jennifer Garner, if Jennifer Garner were a 6 out of 10 with giant fake boobies.

Dumbest line of the night:

Gia

In response to Jake’s question of how the Trojans defeated the Greeks in Ancient Greece, Gia responded:

“They showed up in an elephant.”

Yes Gia, the old Trojan Elephant story! Also, this was during her speech calling Jake dumb. Extra points for that!

Runner up lines:

Kasey: “Gia thinks I’m allianced with her.”

Michelle: “This is blowing my mind. Literally.” Literally?

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    • scott

      Hilarious and spot on.