‘The 9 Lives of Chloe King’: 4 Inexplicable Things, 4 Predictable Things, and 1 Last Thing

FINALLY, we are getting to the question of whether or not Chloe should tell her mom about her powers. My answer: DUH YES PLEASE. Superman’s parents knew! Spider-Man’s parents…were dead. And then he inadvertently killed his uncle. And his aunt kind of hated his guts. AND IN THE END WHO WAS MORE WELL ADJUSTED? Actually, they’re both pretty messed up, but Superman has more actual super powers. Those web things Spider-Man has are supposed to be things he built, so I think his situation applies more here.

HOWEVER.

Inexplicably, Chloe Does Not Tell Her Mom

As you all know, I’ve been begging Chloe (uh, even though she’s fictional) for her to tell her mother already in order to stop her mom freaking out about the insane amount of secrecy she insists on. However, Paul says that the first rule of being a superhero is to protect her loved ones. But that makes no sense in this situation AT ALL. Chloe’s secret identity to her mother is that she’s Mai, but to all of San Francisco? They have NO IDEA that she exists. And the people who come after her have used like, Google, to find her — and they’ve found her! So in fact her mother’s total ignorance is often what gets her in trouble. She would be so much safer otherwise. Alek tells her he did tell his adoptive parents, and acts all mysterious when she asks what happened — but even though he doesn’t answer, he tells her to try, even though things won’t be the same again. I mean, maybe Chloe thinks her mom won’t love her anymore? In which case she is a dummy.

Predictably, Brian Saw Alek and Chloe Kiss

Actually, I didn’t predict this. Yeah, I was actually surprised. However, I don’t see how either of them could’ve started making out before seeing Brian staring dopily at them. I mean, he was right there! Well, this causes a rift for Chloe between both Brian and Alek, which is understandable. All I can think is, if Chloe actually can also make out with Mai, the lesson she leans here is that she really can’t interact with human boys, ever, in that capacity. Because everyone will get hurt — and even Amy has learned not to encourage her.

Inexplicably, Brian Does Not Know How To Use Technology

When Chloe and Brian meet again, he totally has a rebound just like she did. But she meets him because she has to tell him the numbers and letters he found on the back of his mother’s photo are an address. How did she find this out? She Googled it. Are you telling me Brian did not do this? Everyone else in the world does this! To everything! It could be the last movie you saw or how to tie your shoes (there is an eHow article for everything) — doesn’t Brian have any sense? Like really. Even though Brian’s mystery seems cool, his character is not given proper detail and the actor does not give the proper performance. However, I think this is likely because he’s focusing on making the fact that he’s a college student who’s into a 16-year-old girl okay. I still don’t think it’s okay, buster!

Predictably, Jasmine Had To Clean Up Everyone’s Messes

So invariably, after she sees Alek and Chloe in a huff at school the next day, Jasmine (calmly, patiently) tells Chloe not to be a jerk and quit being so flighty with Alek’s feelings. Then she covers his bodyguard duties for him, even though it’s been suggested in the series that her mother is just waiting to blame her for everything that’s gone wrong, ever. Sometimes Jasmine is so crazy helpful I wonder if she’ll ever go “Samuel L. Jackson-mad about Snakes on a Plane” on anybody any time soon. Instead she is the saint of this series, and I want to see more of her.

Inexplicably, Chloe Stumbles Upon The Worst Burglary of All Time

Okay, who understood this burglary? Because first two people were fighting over the loot. Then Chloe goes to the police and when she IDs the people, the corrupt cop goes over to meet them to discuss how they’re going to leave town. Um, weren’t they fighting over the loot before? Is anyone angry about that? I guess they’re just so happy they escaped arrest and scared that record will be overturned that they decide to stand together to get a little girl.

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