• Tue, Aug 2 2011

Love Lessons from ‘The Bachelorette’: Let a Dude Propose Before You Dump Him

It’s the finale of The Bachelorette! After weeks of watching Ashley Hebert humiliate herself on live TV and eventually winnow a group of guys down to some pretty cute ones, last night’s 33 hour finale episode finally brought an end to the season. In case you forgot, we’re down to two gentlemen – Ben “Beneff” F and JP. In the preview clip, there are roughly 27 “amazing”s, 41 “put myself out there”s and 99 “connection”s.

Romance means scoring a free vacation for your family.

Since Ashley met the dudes’ families, now they get to meet hers. It consists of a mom, Laurie, a dad, Mike, a brother, Elliott, and Kat Von D Junior aka Christy, who is apparently Ashley’s sister. They live in Maine, but the show flew them all out to Fiji to get to meet Ashley’s final suitors, which is pretty cool.

KVDJ says “I’m a little more concerned this time than I am last time,” referring to when Ashley got cut by Brad Womack after hometown dates on The Bachelor.

Trust your tattooed sister. Or don’t.

JP is up first. He describes the process as “absolutely wild” and says he was “blown away” by Ashley. Laurie asks about JP’s family and what they thought of Ashley, and he says that they love her and were really happy by how great they were together. “Today was the last piece of the puzzle,” he says. Ashley voiceovers that she was proud to bring JP to meet her family and that she appreciates how nice they’re being, and Laurie leads a toast. KVDJ then breaks the happiness by announcing she has some tough questions. She asks if JP is smitten, and he says yes without skipping a beat. Something tells me KVDJ is pushing to be the next Bachelorette (sibling edition!), but hasn’t watching two seasons of this show taught her that only super whitebread people get to be on it? No tats allowed, unless they’re on the small of your back.

Laurie and KVDJ pull Ashley aside for a girls’ talk and tell her they don’t really see what she sees in JP and they don’t buy the connection between the two of them. KVDJ says that there’s an age difference between Ashley and JP and that he’s too mellow for her. Ashley starts bawling everywhere, and if you needed proof that she’s totally balls out in love with JP, this is it. Ashley says that her heart is broken – not by JP, but by her mom’s disapproval of JP. Laurie backtracks and says they haven’t spent much time with JP and they’re not saying anything about him, but they have to go on their immediate impressions. “I just want to feel confident in how I feel,” Ashley says clumsily.

KVDJ and JP then talk one on one and she tells him what she just told Ashley. JP tries to win her over by talking about how crazy he is about Ashley and how much he’s enjoyed spending time together and how much she makes him smile, etc. Maybe her family should have to watch the fantasy suite footage. KVDJ brings up the age difference thing again, and I need to find out exactly how many years we’re talking about here. KVDJ seems to think that JP is set in his ways and has his own life and won’t be willing to change and adjust for Ashley, and KVDJ thinks that Ashley isn’t being herself and is acting like she’s happy instead of being happy.

Then after the interminable initialed conversation, Ashley and JP talk a little on their own. She says she doesn’t want JP to go home and worry, but he says there’s nothing else he can do if they don’t have contact with each other. He voiceovers that he’s surprised Ashley didn’t stick up for him enough and that she didn’t try to reassure him.

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