Season 4 of Jersey Shore starts this Thursday, and man, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty sure the only way I’m going to be able to stomach watching the gang defile Florence is going to be with the help of an awful lot of booze. Who’s with me?
The cast is surrounded by incredible art and culture: Hoorah art and culture! Take a drink!
The cast doesn’t realize that they’re surrounded by incredible art and culture: Of course they don’t. Take two drinks.
A cast member speaks fluent Italian: Yeah, right. Take a drink.
A cast member speaks enough Italian to be able to hook up with an Italian: Take one drink for each hookup.
A cast member hooks up with another cast member: Take one drink for each cast member.
Sammi and Ronnie break up: Take a drink.
Sammi and Ronnie get back together: Take two drinks.
Snooki looks like an Ewok: Take a drink.
Snooki looks like an Ewok that’s been in a car accident: Take a drink and put on a neck brace.