• Fri, Jul 29 2011

Blink and You’ll Miss Rihanna in the ‘Battleship’ Trailer

Even before its first official trailer came out today, Battleship has a healthy amount of skepticism attached to it. For one, it’s a pretty odd cast: Liam Neeson is the one serious actor overseeing hotties Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, and Rihanna. Then, of course, there’s the matter of turning our favorite childhood strategy game into a movie. We’ll go into the possible mechanics of the plot in a few, but first: The strangely inconspicuous Rihanna.

All of the other big names get plenty of screen-time in the two-minute trailer, but after two watch-throughs, we still hadn’t seen Rihanna. Maybe we were distracted by Skarsgård’s scarf, but she’s almost entirely absent.

We did eventually find her. Around 1:40, when the ships start going all Transformers and taking on much more deadly, airborne forms, one flies over the raft where Kitsch and Rihanna stand. Both look terrified, though pretty soon she’s on the guns trying to take these things down.

We might have figured out the reasoning behind this. According to IMDb, Rihanna’s character Raikes is an FBI agent who comes along to try and figure out the mysterious armada’s origins. So, they likely bring her in later in the film, when the shit really starts to hit the fan.

Speaking of, what the heck is going on with these ships? I have two theories:

1) They’re chess pieces in some interstellar game between two godlike creatures or aliens who are literally playing around.

2) They’re aliens, like the Transformers guys, and have been hiding out disguised as human ships… until they were provoked.

I was really holding on to the first guess, but it seems more likely that these ships/machines are semi-intelligent and want to get rid of the human threat. Can there are least be some sort of government conspiracy theory, or political issue because the waters are undeclared territory?

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