Alex Trebek Is The Only Celeb Who Can Run Down A Hallway Naked And Leave A Hero

The Internet has been abuzz today with news of beloved game show host Alex Trebek’s burglary fiasco. A woman named Lucinda Moyers allegedly entered his San Fransisco hotel room at 2:30am. The suspect reportedly made away with cash and a treasured bracelet given to Trebek by his mother. Not to take such things lying down (yes, literally) Trebek threw on some underwear and ran after Moyers. He suffered an injury to his Achilles tendon and will require surgery.

High praise has been directed at Trebek for his bravery and bright outlook. The 71-year-old icon recently received a lifetime achievement award at the Daytime Emmys. Will Ferrell’s portrayal of Trebek on Saturday Night Live is STILL referenced ad nauseum. Point being, everyone loves Alex Trebek. Which is why, despite all sorts of information about nudity (Trebek reportedly sleeps in the buff), late night dalliances and hotel rooms, no one is accusing Trebek of having a one-night stand with Moyers or even paying for any related “services.” And, guess what? Neither are we!

Trebek is universally respected to such a degree, he’s been spared the requisite dose of scandalous accusations. How amazing is that? If it were anybody else, ANYBODY, they’d be smeared across cyberspace like marscarpone. So, here’s some advice for Mr. Trebek: just go for it. If there was ever an illegal activity you wanted to try, now is the time to do it. White collar, felony, petty theft! The world is your oyster. In real-life double jeopardy, you can’t be charged for the same crime twice. But you won’t be charged ever! You sir, are today’s champion.

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