Two-Dimensional Jonas Brothers Don’t Want Olivia Wilde Having Sex In Their Old House

Reluctantly beautiful and contently brainy House star Olivia Wilde appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week to promote her new sci-fi western Cowboys & Aliens. When asked about splitting her time between New York and Los Angeles, Wilde revealed she really liked LA but that she had some issues with her new home on the west coast, interestingly enough, because it had once been owned by the Jonas Brothers.

If the thought of that weren’t creepy enough, there’s this fact: they left cardboard cutouts of themselves in her garage. Wilde joked with Kimmel that the cutouts had somehow placed a “No Sex Hex” on the home.

Now, without jumping to conclusions, let’s just go with the idea that the Jonas brothers are some sort of mystical clan out to eliminate carnal desires by leaving simulacrums of themselves in other people’s homes. After all, Wilde did bring up the “lack of action” in the house and, judging by her copious amount of male fans, that could only be explained by Jonas-based witchery and not at all by her being terribly intimidating. Wilde also mentioned that she will often wake up to find the Joe Jonas cutout standing by her bedside, an alleged prank courtesy of her roommate. Sure. That’s what that is.


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    • Eileen

      I really want to like Olivia Wilde, but I just can’t help finding her…incredibly boring.